Friday, August 5, 2011

A Summary of Lao

So, since it costs to much money to go to internet cafes and to type up a blog everyday and to try to upload pictures on insanely slow computers new pictures will probably be put up on facebook when we return and for now I am just going to some up our past couple weeks spent in Lao.

One of the first things we did was The Gibbon Experience. We got to spend 4 days in the ancient jungle hiking and zip-lining throughout the forest and got to sleep in tree houses 250+ meters high. We went after a big rain so our tuktuk out to the village got stuck a total of 5 times with everyone having to get out a push it up a monster hill. From the village we got to hike a way through the rain-forest until we eventually zip-lined into our tree house, which we shared with an awesome Dutch family. It was two stories with a roof made from banana leaves. We had a little kitchen and tables and our own two person bed. The bathroom (which was the most awesome part) was basically just a platform next to a massive tree branch, and the floor just dropped off and had the most gorgeous view of the mountains. We got to hear a couple of gibbons sing but never were we gifted with being able to see them up close. We made the mistake of getting up at dawn to go try and spot some and were seriously attacked by leeches, which crawl up your pants to get to you...it was terrifying. So we zip-lined all over trying to keep our eyes out for tigers or bears, which of course we never encountered.

After The Gibbon Experience and getting to spend times with bunches of naked curious village children, we took another terrifying night bus back down to the temple city of Luang Probang. When we arrived at 6 in the morning we decided to rent a motorbike and go see one of the local waterfalls. We drove a good hour to the villages on the outskirts and got a bag full of fried bananas :) Then we started hiking to the waterfall just to arrive at a sun bear sanctuary. There were so many tiny adorable little bears swinging in hammocks and sitting in a serious hot tub. Sun bears are endangered, like most Asian animal species, because their bones are used for ancient Chinese medicine and or they are kept as pets in little cages. Me being an animal rights activist this was depressing. So we donated some money to the bears and then went to go swim in the bright blue pools of the waterfall. There was a rope swing and a waterfall you could jump off of so we spent some time there and mingled with some other backpackers. That night we went to the Luang Probang night market, which is just a bunch of little booths set up right next to one another, so there is hardly any room to walk, and the entire street is lit with lanterns. I wanted to buy everything there because it was all gorgeous and cheap, but I was already tight for space in my bag so I had to cut the spending short.

The next day we started our 3 day elephant mahout camp. The term "mahout" means trainer or handler, so we were going to learn how to handle and care for an elephant. When the van picked us up in the morning to take us to the camp we automatically fell in love with the couple that was on the adventure with us. There was a 6 ft 2in Australian man who looked like Gerard Butler and was just so over the top, just like myself and Jef, and his little 4 ft 11in Taiwanese fiance who has the voice of an 8 year old girl. We adored them and spent majority of the next 3 days talking politics, religion, philosophy, law and psychology with them. We got to get on the elephants and start riding them on the neck instantly, which is a lot harder then it looks and takes quite a lot of leg strength and getting used to. We learned all the commands in order to control them; however, I'm pretty sure they never listen to us and only listen to their mahout/trainer who is on the elephant with you most of the time. My elephant's name was Sunshine who was the most obedient, and Jef's was Pancake. When we are riding through the rain-forest all we hear is laughter and Jef constantly barking out "PAI PAI, YAYAYA" which means "Go Go, Stop Doing Bad" but pancake really didn't listen and just continued to eat. We got to feed them everyday, pineapples and bamboo shoots, and we also bathed them twice a day (once at 5 in the morning and once again at night) where we go in the river with them and they lay down and start to consistently spray us with their trunks. Jef's unfortunately couldn't spray with his trunk so he would just lay down completely in the water so Jef is almost floating off his back and down the river. One day we did a 3 hour trek through the forest to have a picnic and other days we would just trek around and laugh. We all got to stay in our own bungalow suit on the river and got free food and then got to tube/kayak to near by waterfalls. That was an awesome 3 days.

When we got back into town we went to some of the nicer restaurants, which really weren't good. If you want good food, then stay in America! We have the means to cook anything that we want, and honestly we do it better. I won't discredit Europe just yet, besides Greek food which was honestly bad. We woke up at 5 am and watched the monks beg for food on the streets, which they do every morning. And when you think begging and think that they look sad and skinny and have hardly any food and it is exactly the opposite. They have BAGS full of food and when they get full they pick through it and leave it on the street. The streets are lined with people waiting to give them food. The giver to beggar ratio is easily 25 to 1. And of course no woman can touch the food that they give them (it's weird) nor can they actually touch a monk, or look him in the eyes, and they always get the best seats on buses.
We went to a couple monasteries and listened to the monks sing their hymns but after you see one temple you basically see them all because they all look the same and are all over the place.

On our last night in Luang Probang we finally found an awesome joint hang out at with good food and hookah to smoke. It was right on the river in a massive bungalow with a bar and floor pillows and was decorated with the bomb shells that litter their country. (Every once in a while you will see people in Lao with limbs missing and that is because they accidentally stepped on mine, since their country side is seriously littered with explosives from when we used their land during the Vietnam war). Anways, we hung out at this bar for a while and then got to know a group of Englishmen who were just to awesome to leave so we decided to stay one more night before moving on. We hung out with them all night, playing volleyball and then going to the Lao disco. Which is just a massive rave with short people. After that we had to call it because it was so late but normally most people will move on to the local bowling alley where are the local whoop ass and everyone else is either on drugs or drunk or both.

It is so insanely easy to get drugs while in Lao. Opium, mushrooms, and weed are the most popular and you can get them at basically any bar or shake stand on the streets. So we saw a lot of people on drugs, some of our English friends where especially fond of the mushrooms which was more hilarious than anything else.

After that night we went to an insanely boring cave with some friends, that was way over priced and was full of a bunch of Buddah figurines. Since none of us are no where near Buddhist this cave was not in the least interesting but it was fun to be able to see the raw beauty of Lao, which is constantly surrounding you, and to be able to talk to our new friends. We left on another terrifying night bus that night and headed to the backpacker town of Vang Vieng.

Once in V.V. you can see why it is called the backpacker town, because it is covered in them, and there are guest houses and bars everywhere. Every restaurant is playing either Friends, Family Guy or The Simpson's so all the backpackers hoard to restaurants to satisfy their longing for westernization and humorous television. The tables aren't even table with chairs but are high platforms with a table and pillows around it so everyone falls asleep at the restaurants. We ended up having a few good meals there though and our guest house was insanely comfortable. On the night of arrival, we got in at 3 am and were so sick from our malaria medications being taken on an empty stomach that we were both clinging to the toilet seats all night. For the next couple days it down poured but it was so beautiful that we wanted to go outside, but we had no idea what to do yet.

When it finally stopped raining we rented a motorbike to drive out to the local caves. Now, Lao roads are always bad, but after it rains they are especially bad and if you get one scratch on the motorbikes then most of the time they just charge you for a new one no matter if it is the tiniest mark. I don't know how we escaped that day without being charged, because once we crossed the questionable bridge with gaping holes in it we had arrived onto the muddiest roads that had hidden sink holes just waiting to trap you. We were driving really slow just laughing yet the tension was just rippling off of us, but being able to watch other tourists fail and fall and get stuck made the day much more enjoyable (not because I'm Sadist but because that would mean that Jef and I were not completely and utterly incompetent). We were slipping all over the roads, and when I got on it it would just fall over. Around one corner there was a child standing in the road that pointed us over to the left side of the road, telling us it was safer. We think "well he is a local so we should probably trust him". It turns out that we had run into our first, and really the only, Lao scammer. When we went to the left side we sunk instantly up the handle bars of the bike. I got off but couldn't move because the mud was up to my waist and Jef had to reach in and help retrieve my shoes. The little boy would point tourists towards that direction and when they got stuck he would go and help them out of the whole and then ask for tips. Well we didn't tip him, and actually some other tourists came and helped us out.
When we drove all the way down to the end of the road (we decided to go to the very end cave and hit all the other caves along the back to town) and then reached our first cave. Since most of the mountains around Lao and made of Limestone there are tons of caves throughout all their hillsides. So I'm in a dress and in muddy flip flops (it was laundry day so this was all I had) so I couldn't lift my legs at all and could hardly take a step without slipping out of my shoes. So I basically crawled all the way up the mountain side, watching where I put my hands, until we reaching a very terrifying looking cave entrance. So Jef is not a big cave person but I talked him into going first and all we could think about for a while was the movie Descent or looking down to see a giant spider on our feet. So we start crawling with our headlamps and after a while we are seriously enjoying ourselves. We are crawling deep into the cave, and there were no bugs or bats so we weren't creeped out anymore. UNTIL...now this is really hard for me to think about because I truly try not to recall this memory because of how utterly terrifying it was. I was ahead of Jef and had just crawled down into this new part of the cave and was waiting for Jef to come up behind me but he was stuck at one point so I sort of walked ahead until he figured it out. Until I look up, I could hear something and when I looked I saw this figure crawling out of this hole in the wall. At first I though it was Jef, but then my light shined on his face and it was a local with a massive grin on his face. He started grunting and wheezing and laughing and was coming towards me. He was clearly mentally disabled because he didn't respond to mine or Jef's questions and instead he just made these sounds. He also had no shoes on or a light in his hand, so I thought that he lived in there or something. So I power walked towards Jef and told him lets go while I thought he was still back there trying to find a way down towards where I was standing. I thought that Jef and I were far ahead until I feel him standing right behind me breathing on me and making those noises into my ear. At this point I am shaking uncontrolably while Jef, as always, keeps calm and handles things perfectly (even though he said he was terrified as well). We slowly crawl our way out of the cave while trying to laugh and make idle conversationg. Anyways, we make it to the end of the moutain and I guess he thought he was our guide? So we paid him some kip. I guess he would just follow tourists up the hill to the cave and then pose as their guide and ask for money. He shoud be careful sneakign up on people though in the dark without them knowing.
We went swimming in a nearbye river with a rope swing and met some Canadians and I warned them about the potential shock of not being alone in the cave. Jef and I headed to the next cave and Jef decided to let me drive through the slippy mud and of course I fall over because the back tire slids and an adorable local man runs up laughing and helps me up. We parked and headed to the cave to be joined by two little boys with head lamps who were our new "guides". At least we knew that these two were following us this time. We walked through a farm of palm trees until we came to one of the most gorgeous spots I have ever seen ( I will try to attach a photo to this blog). It was a lagoon straight out of the movies! It was a clear blus pond next to the caves, with see through water and caverns to swim through and rocks to jump off of. We decided to seim in it on the way back from the cave so we entered the cave which was so deep I feel like we walked for an hour. I am thankful that we had guides with us because there were so many endless drops and slippery points that we would have likely ahve fell into some thinking that they were the way to go. Anyways, caves and their awesomeness are hard to explain but it was really awesome and on the way out we swam with the kids and started barting with them on how much to pay them for their guiding. We realized then how aweful the Lao people are at lying because even though we don't speak their language we can understand when someone is trying to scam you when they are whispering back and forth questions and then they tell us to pay them a ridiculous amount of kip. We just giggles at their ridiculousness and gave them a fair good amount since they walk so far to come guide and help give money to their families.
After that day we just went and relaxed and watched some Family Guy and then prepared to do the legendary Float the next day. The Float is what tourists come to Vang Vieng for basically. There are just hundreds of peope floating down a river with a multitude of bars lining the sides. All the tourists will stop at one at a time and either enjoy a  a Lao beer or a  bucket (which is literally a bucket of boose, some soda, and some red bull like stuff that is really about 10 times stronger than what is considerd healthy to intake). It was a total blast and we ended up meeting tons of people and learning all about the world and their travels. While floating down the river the bars will throw bottles attached to strings towards a group of floaters and they will pull you in. There is a bar with a massive slide that flings you a good 15ft in the air before you hit the water. Another bar has a huge mud volley ball pit and a rave floor, then the last bar has a massive pillow (as seen on the most recent jackass) that one person lays on while another jumps onto it from a platform and shoots the person sitting on it into the air. The float is really only about 45 minutes long but because of all the stops you end up floating all day. Afterwards everyone goes to the local bars where they spray-paint the poop out of you (which burns badly). There we met up with our old English friends from Luang Probang and hung out with them for a while that night and the next day. After that we got in a van and headed back towards the capital town Vietiene in order to leave Lao and move onto the next stop. We didn't really have the next stop planned we just knew that we wanted to spend the last couple weeks on an island diving and relaxing before we had to head back to school. It just so happens that there was one other New York backpacker in our van who had just come from the Thai Islands and he told us all about his diving adventures. Daniel Horowitz was his name and we owe the last couple weeks too him!















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